homemeless | 002 - The Stargazing Meme

"I'm certain if he made anything up, it was because the Circle didn't know or only had boring explanations," Anders assured, smiling. Finishing off the last of his sandwich, he dusted himself off absently and sunk back onto the grass again, tugging at Hawke's hand as he did so.

"I haven't," he said. "Though you should lie back as well. We can see the stars better that way."

Hawke's hand held Anders' own as the man began to sink back into the grass, not willing to let go of it so easily. He moved back as well, laying down next to the mage and bringing one arm up to rest behind his head. The hand holding Anders' slowly released, moving just a bit to rest against his friend's wrist. A bit more subtle this way, maintaining that contact he desired.

"Let me try to remember it..." Hawke said with a smile, turning his head a bit to look over at Anders before looking at the sky again. "As I'm sure you know, mabari hounds were originally created by a Tevinter magister... But they weren't the first mage-made animal. The first was a bird with stunning red feathers and eyes that shone like rubies. He was a remarkable thing with a beautiful voice, the envy of many. The magister fed him lyrium, which made his feathers glow even brighter... But at quite the price. The glow of lyrium would excite the bird, making him fly about and chirp eagerly each time his master would come to feed him. Seeing as his pet was growing greedy, the magister decided he would no longer give his bird such a thing until it learned to behave itself properly."

Hawke glanced over to Anders, hoping his friend was still paying attention. He wasn't nearly as great a story-teller as Varric but he was trying his best. He only hoped he wouldn't bore his companion.

"Of course, that only served to backfire. Being deprived of his precious lyrium, the bird began to eat anything that sparkled, anything that glistened. Jewels, coins, precious metals - he started to hoard them all in his cage, devouring each item one by one. When night fell, he flew up into the sky and gobbled up every last star, until the sky had turned black. The heat from the stars burned the bird's feathers, making them as black as coals. Knowing he'd misbehaved, the bird chose to conceal himself, not willing to return to his master, not when he could hide so well amongst the night."

He shifted a bit, settling in a bit more, allowing for his hand to idly stroke the back of Anders'.

"It was by the light of the next full moon where the bird met his fate. A hunter had found himself lost in the woods and with no stars to guide him, he'd been wandering for weeks on end trying to find his way. In a tree, he spotted that bird and thinking it was little more than a crow, he shot it through the heart, in hopes of making a meal of it. Well, with a belly still full of stars, the bird's body burst open and the stars all spilled out back into the sky. Injured and sulking, the bird ended up making its way back home to a very angry master. As punishment for its misdeeds, every evening the crow was made to fly to the stars, to make certain they were all remaining lit so that the sky never be darkened ever again. A few times a year though, he gets greedy - he begins to eat those stars again but the wandering hunter is always quick to shoot him down once more."

Anders supposed he was supposed to be watching the stars as Garrett spoke, but he found himself more interested in watching the other man as he spoke, the way his lips moved as he told the tale, gently shaping words against the night sky. The brush of Garrett's fingers against the back of his palm were a pleasant addition, sending a thrill through him as Hawke spoke.

Truthfully, Anders found himself less enamoured with the story as he was with how the other man told it. Garrett clearly remembered it well, and Anders fleetingly pictured the Hawke family sitting back like this under the night sky while Malcolm regaled them with the tale. He couldn't say how accurately Garrett's version measured up to that, but he enjoyed it more for the little things, how Hawke got into the telling at points, his voice lowering to whisper parts as though they were a secret, rising to emphasise others, and it wasn't just the touch at his hand that sent a shiver through him as the tale drew to a close.

"I don't think I've heard any story told near as well," Anders said after a moment passed. His hand turned under Garrett's interlacing their fingers together boldly. "I think even Varric would agree on that."

Hawke can't hide the smile that forms across his features, though his keeps his eyes ahead of him and upon the night sky. "That's quite the compliment..." and it really was. Though he doubted Varric would agree. Not enough flourish in his silly tale, nothing to truly write home about. Still, it was nice to be able to share in it with Anders. Exceptionally nice to be close to him as he did so.

"It was one of Bethany's favourite stories..." Hawke let his eyes fall closed, letting out a faint sigh through his nose as bittersweet memories began to return. "My father told it a lot to us for that reason."

A frown of concern creased his brow as Hawke mentioned Bethany as well as his father, and Anders glanced over at his friend, noting the way his eyes closed, drifting into some sadness the mage could all too easily imagine.

Rolling onto his side, Anders lifted their hands, still interlaced, and pressed the back of Garrett's palm to his cheek. "You told it well, and I'm certain they would have both enjoyed it," he said softly. "I'm certain they all would have."

It was the feeling of Anders' cheek against his hand that got Hawke's attention now, the rogue slowly opening his eyes and turning his gaze to the man beside him. His brow creased a bit, just watching Anders for a moment before he finally chose to lift his hand, pulling it away from the man's grasp, fingers slipping from one and other.

Only for Hawke to rest his palm directly against Anders' cheek, thumb stroking beneath his friend's eye as his fingers moved to cup the side of his face. The subtle holding of the man's hand had been nice - but to rest against his cheek like this, feel that grainy stubble against him, was better. It was a bold move on his part, Hawke knew that to be certain - but it was something he'd wished to do, regardless of what risks it posed.

"But..." Hawke's voice was barely above a whisper now, fingers idly stroking just behind Anders' jaw, eyes not leaving the mage's own. "Are you enjoying it?"

The story he'd told, this evening - this moment.

Anders went still, his expression falling as Hawke pulled away, and he opened his mouth to apologise for the touch if it had offended, explain he hadn't meant anything by it (even if it were a lie)...

But by then Garrett's hand had moved to his cheek and Anders went quiet for a different reason. Surprise and then a gentle, wondering smile touched his face and he leaned into the touch with a faint sigh.

"How could I not?" he murmured, deciding there was no better time than now to try and be honest with the other man, see what hope he had, and find out where he stood once and for all.

"It's a beautiful night and I'm here with someone I... care for. A good deal." His gaze met Hawke's. "More than I've ever been game to tell him before."

Hawke's hand remained where it was as Anders leaned into that touch, thumb continuing to stroke lightly, admiring that face before him. The creases beside his eyes, the way his mouth turned into that small but hopeful smile, the lines by his mouth - Anders often looked so gaunt and haggard, so exhausted and worn, yet when he smiled, life seemed to return to the man. A certain warmth and vibrancy just waiting to be given a reason to remain. Hawke craned his neck forward a bit, letting the tip of his nose just lightly brush against Anders' own, not letting his eyes stray.

"It is a beautiful night..." Hawke's words were quiet, hand moving to let his fingers begin idly brushing against Anders' hair, just above his ear, "And I cannot imagine sharing it with anyone else."

Anders' breath caught as Garrett leaned in, his mind already wondering at the taste and feel of the other man's mouth against his, his lips and how he kissed, and his eyelids were already starting to close when he realised the other man had stopped.

The words were romantic, wonderfully so, he knew, but at the same time there was that frustration that Garrett wasn't doing other things with that talented mouth of his that apparently knew exactly what to say but not necessarily what to do. Or at least not when it came to slightly frustrated mages.

Deciding to take matters into his own hands, Anders leaned in that fraction of a distance, capturing Garrett's mouth with his own in a kiss that was coloured slightly with the years of waiting and wishing he'd done. His hand found its way up to Garrett's hair, burying into the black roughness and tugging Garrett closer as Anders opened his mouth slightly, a faint sound that could have been a whine muted against the other's lips.

Slightly frustrated didn't even seem to begin to describe it - but as those lips pressed against Hawke's own, he reciprocated immediately. Hawke's hand slid back into Anders' hair in response to the mage doing the same to his own. The free arm that was previously under his head moving to slip beneath Anders' body, wrapping around to grasp at the tattered fabric of his coat and draw the man just that much closer; his coarse beard rubbing against the stubble of Anders' chin as he deepened the man's wanton kiss.

He'd wanted this. He'd craved it - moreso than ever now that it was truly happening, that he could feel Anders' mouth and hear that light sound escape him. It made him want all the more, rocking their bodies and rolling a bit in the grass, pulling Anders on top of him. Their lips parted, Hawke breathing against Anders' face, fingers splaying before grasping the back of the man's head. His eyes met Anders' once more, looking up at the man over top of him before swallowing, the action of actually kissing his friend quickly settling in now, making him give a small shake of his head.

"I cannot imagine anyone else I would rather have done that with either."

Anders gasped, a surprised sound that managed to sound almost needy to his ears as Hawke rolled them both and he found himself on top of the other man, his body pressing down against Garrett's, feeling hard muscles under the clothing separating them. The parted lips were too tempting a target to resist as well, and his tongue traced against them briefly, a fleeting touch as he wondered, briefly, if that were pushing things too far.

Then he was staring down at Garrett, strands of hair pulled loose from the tie he wore and hanging around his face, a warm flush of heat settling across his cheeks and deep in his chest.

"I wouldn't want to imagine you doing that with anyone else either," he confessed, a smile tugging at his lips. "But if you wanted to do it again, I don't mind. I love you, Garrett. I have for years now. I just didn't think that you'd ever..."

Everything was happening in such a rush - a strange, wonderful rush of excitement and trepidation all at once. He'd wanted this, he'd wanted it for some time now but it wasn't until he'd felt those lips against his own that realized his desire for Anders went far beyond a simple want. He needed this man. Though he'd stood by all of his companions across the past few years, there was something different about Anders, something he couldn't quite understand, not util he had him in this moment.

He wanted to continue being at Anders' side, he wanted to continue helping him. He wanted to protect him.

Hawke found himself falling quiet, those words of Anders' repeating themselves in his head. I love you, Garrett. They were soft and they were sweet, a confession so shy yet determined, bold enough to place everything on the line. His hand came to touch Anders' face again, slipping back towards the man's hair and brushing one of those loose strands behind his ear. Garrett Hawke had never been in love before. He'd been attracted to people, he understood physical appeal of both women and men - but he'd never truly asked himself what it meant to be in love.

Yet looking up at Anders, he felt a warmth rising up his chest. Looking up at Anders, he knew. He was ready to know.

"Love you back?" he murmured, finishing Anders' sentence.

"Yes." It was a simple agreement, though Anders' eyes searched Garrett's as he spoke, trying to see if it was honestly returned or if he were searching for something that wasn't there again.

"All these years I've been wondering and now... I just want to know, Garrett. Do I... do I mean anything to you?"

The kiss made him think that there was a chance, more of a chance than he'd have thought days ago, but if it was only something physical... he wanted to know. Maker knew he was weak enough to take what was offered, even if it wasn't what he wanted, that he'd dreamed of his and woken aching or spent enough times that even just a night seemed better than nothing, but he wanted to know for certain if he had the right of Garrett's feelings or if he was just projecting onto the other man.

Shifting beneath Anders' weight, Hawke managed to sit up a bit, both hands moving behind him to better support him. His gaze softened as he met Anders' own, noses all but touching. He hated to break that contact of his hand against Anders' face. He wanted to taste those lips again, to hear those words fall from them once more. I love you, Garrett. It continued to sound in his mind, even as Anders spoke once more.

"Do you mean anything to me...?" Hawke breathed those words, craning his neck just a bit, enough to let the tip of his nose touch Anders' own. He swallowed, feeling his mouth going a bit dry, heart beating faster. The longer he gazed into those eyes, the more he felt it, that warmth in his chest, a feeling of longing. From the day he met the mage, he knew there was something different about him - from the way he smiled and that glimmer in his eyes to the conviction he felt for his plight. There was something admirable about him yet something Garrett Hawke found he wanted to hold, to protect - the very thought of the templars taking Anders from him, it sparked something in him, something he never could identify before.

But he could now. Looking at the man who rest against him, the man all but straddling his lap. The man who was putting himself out there, begging to be accepted.

"Anders..." Hawke swallowed again, moving closer, lips against Anders' own, "I have never felt this way about anyone, the way I feel about you."

For a moment, Anders was worried. He knew he didn't have reason to be, that Garrett wasn't the kind of man to deliberately hurt him or anyone, but still, a part of him worried.

And then Garrett spoke and the concern melted away under those words, Anders' lips pressing forward to place a small, delighted kiss on Hawke's.

"I've never been able to feel this way about anyone," he murmured, eyes bright with emotion, his chest feeling like it was aching under a rush of fresh emotion and love. "I love you, Garrett. I want to be with you, until the end of my days, to defy the Knight-Commander and show the world that mages can love and be loved, and those that care for them are not afraid to let everyone else know how they feel as well."

Hearing those words over and over - Hawke had always thought it a bit silly to think but he could feel something flutter in his chest every time. There was something about it, something about those words, something about hearing them from Anders that just made them sound so perfect. Perfect and honest. Lightly returning that delighted kiss of Anders', Hawke found himself leaning back again, falling back against the grass and reaching up to pull Anders down on top of him once more. The man's weight on top of him felt nice, as did his lips and the feeling of his breath.

"Mages deserve to love and be loved, the same as anyone else," Hawke's words were soft, mind still reeling at the idea of actually being able to finally say it out loud. His father deserved to be loved, his sister deserved to be loved - and Anders deserved to be loved. All mages, all people who meant so much to Garrett. He could imagine it all he wanted - but even in his mind, those never sounded nearly as perfect as they did now. Anders deserved love - his love.

He exhaled deeply, finding his arms wrapping around Anders' body, holding him just a little closer. "How long... Have you felt this way?"

A hum of pleasure sounded at the back of his throat as Anders made himself comfortable against Garrett, resting his head against the other's chest and hearing the faint, constant beating of his heart.

"Since I met you," Anders confessed. "You were a good man, kinder than many others I'd met, and you cared for mages, for me and- and Karl. I'll admit I wasn't at my best then, and I worried that I might just be... looking for a replacement for Karl. But the feelings never went away, even as the years passed."

He laughed softly, fingers absently tracing patterns over Garrett's shoulder as he spoke. "After the expedition and you moving to Hightown, getting into your new life as a nobleman, I worried a little that it would be the last I'd see of you. But you kept coming back and I kept wondering if I could ever tell you how I felt."

Anders' fingers stilled as he sighed and grew still, remembering how the years had passed. "Then around the time I was considering it... that's when your mother... I couldn't do that to you. Not then. So I waited and... I suppose things just keep happening one after another. The moment never seemed right."

Hawke's arms tightened a bit around Anders' body at the mention of his mother. It still felt so fresh, so recent. He still couldn't bring himself to go into her room. Anders having come by that night, having come to check in on him - it meant more to him than the man may have realized. Hawke breathed slowly, one hand moving up to stroke through Anders' hair, fingers resting against the tie of his ponytail as he kept his gaze skyward.

Anders had been there for him through a lot - and he too had been there for Anders. Across the years, things did just keep piling up, seemingly endlessly. But those things didn't matter tonight. Nothing in Kirkwall mattered tonight.

All that mattered was laying here beneath the stars with the man who rested on top of him. Hawke swallowed, hand going still against Anders' hair. This man loved him. And this man meant something to him. There was something so liberating about being able to admit that, being able to say it out loud.

Turning his head a bit, Hawke looked down at the apostate that rest against him, the apostate listening to his heartbeat. There was something perfect about this, something Garrett never realized how deeply he'd longed for. "I'm glad that you invited me out here tonight, Anders..." he whispered, words meant only for Anders' ears. "Because this was perfect."

His eyes drifted closed as Hawke fell silent, Anders content to listen to the other man's heartbeat beneath him and trust that Garrett would speak his mind eventually. For now it was just wonderful to lie here, like this, and listen to that constant reassurance that someone he cared for was with him and caring for him.

He felt Garrett shift under him after a long moment and Anders opened his eyes again, meeting the rogue's warm ones in the light offered by the stars and moon. His lips curled into a gentle smile at the words, and Anders' fingers sought out Garrett's to interlace with them and bring them to his lips.

"It's perfect to me too," he agreed softly, brushing Garrett's knuckles against his lips. "I've never felt more at peace, love. Thank you for giving me that."

Hawke's breath caught in his throat for a moment at the sound of that word again. Love, being used to address him. Memories surfaced in the back of his mind, reminders of his youth - hearing his parents calling each other that, casting affectionate smiles and glances to one and other, light touches, all the warmth that could be encapsulated in a single word. And now, Anders was calling him that. He truly was his mother's son, wasn't he? His brow creased, watching as the man kissed his fingers, letting them curl around Anders' own.

"You don't need to thank me, Anders," he breathed, voice scarcely a whisper. Anders, my love, he wasn't certain he could say that - not just yet. "I... Want to be here for you - to be here with you. I want to be that peace you crave, everything that you deserve."

"You're already more than I deserve, Garrett," Anders murmured, meeting the other man's eyes in the light of the stars Hawke had told him such a story about. "You're more than I ever thought I could have, more than I could ever ask for. My bright light in Kirkwall."

As he spoke, Anders transferred the touch of his fingers to Garrett's cheek, stroking along it and leaning in to press his forehead against the other man's so his next words were breathed directly against Garrett's lips.

"I want to be with you as well, love. I'm tempted to show you how much right here, with the stars as our witness."

Hawke's lips lightly pressed to Anders' own, enjoying every kiss from the man, be they passionate or be they delicate. Eyes falling closed, he turned his head just enough to lean into those fingers that stroked his cheek, foreheads together as a look of bliss seemed to cross Hawke's face. It felt good - it felt right to simply be here with him. No matter what he and Anders did tonight, so long as he could keep the man here in his arms, he was content.

"You don't need to prove anything, Anders... Not to me," his eyes slowly opened once more, gazing fondly at the ones that gazed right back. His arms around the mage, his hands lightly slid across his back, sighing lightly through his nose.

"Though I doubt the stars would have any objections to witnessing that."

"Maybe I'd like to prove it, Garrett," Anders murmured, pressing a kiss to his lips gently. "Often, until you're thoroughly worn out. Maker, I've thought of it so often before, the idea that I could actually do any of it now..."

He chuckled softly, fingers rubbing along Garrett's jaw a bit like petting a cat, noting how the other man had reacted to it.

"I still can't quite believe this is real, like I might wake up at any moment and find I'm dreaming of this yet again."

~~because always tell your crushes that you frequently dream of boning them amirite~~

It was a surprisingly nice mental image that accompanied the mage's words - the sort of images he tended to save for those lonely nights in his estate. The idea of Anders straddling him, Anders' mouth against him, hearing the man panting and begging for him not to stop. Very nice images indeed - tempting ones at that.

Drawing in a breath, Hawke turned his head to catch a kiss of his own against Anders' lips, exhaling lightly against him. "Perhaps we had best make our way back to Kirkwall, then?" he asked, raising an eyebrow as he looked at the man over top of him, mouth curling into a faint smirk. "As lovely as the evening air is... We might be more comfortable in my estate."

"No sense of adventure, love?" Anders teased, propping himself up to look down at the other man. "No thoughts of making love under the stars and no care for who might see us?"

He smiled, waiting a moment before continuing. "Although, you've probably the right of it. I imagine actually trying something like that just involves a lot of nature getting wedged in uncomfortable places."

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unrelentingly - 2013-03-26 12:30 (UTC) - Expand

002 - The Stargazing Meme

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/makes random shit up, tl;drs so much, idk

asljfd aww this thread is so cute now

♥!

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I lied, that last tag was kind of mean

ffft I laughed XD

And now Daft Punk's Digital Love is in my head...

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